Happiness

Life has twist just as road trips with its curves. This suggests it’s complex but does it have to be so complex or can it be made much easier. This life is based upon the map in our minds and how it is read. Who else can retrieve the information to navigate, is it not us, so we can go ahead in our journey? 

Being an observer seeing and hearing the events that surround me, I can hear a different voice saying the same words as mine, the words are familiar not everything is black and white. To extend upon these words every man should be content with his or her conclusion or conviction without malice or envy. 

There is a great book but no one seems to want to read it which is filled with every day you and I’s. There is matie (having another woman on the side), murder, betrayals, pointing of fingers, accusers, politricks (politics), religion and more. This great book has solutions too. Everyone seems to talk about Shakespeare and others but where is this book in the midst of all, I ask where?

By Kerri-Ann

Peace

Peace like a river. We must get to that place of peace within us. My husband and I have been married since 2002. When we first dated, he passed a remark which went something like this “I think you have an inferiority complex”. Hmm it was a little hard to admit but when i took a close look at myself I could not deny it. Why not? I knew I had my own struggles with studies for example with dyslexia. My point is for some it is other things for example how they may think they appear; and maybe there is a valued reason for their perception i.e history, like in my case. There comes a time when we have to recognised what may seem like a flaw. Decide what we can do with it. I am a strong believer that time heals and so I recognised and improve with my faith in Christ Jesus, him being at the centre of it all.This piece came about because of alot of the challenges we faced from 2019 to 2020. Plus towards the end of my week it was a bit challenging but went okay.

By Kerri-Ann

Frustrated

Completed pre-nursing second highest then moved away for University. I came to my final year, having to re-sit my exam. In between the two courses I had gotten married, conceived and diagnosis with being dyslexic 2005. Now are these excuses for not passing that particular exam! Well I was frustrated. I moved back to my home town and got a job as a health care assistant at the hospital as bank or agency staff which meant at times working on a new ward; where alot of the times no one tells you anything or show you where things are kept. Whenever I complained my husband would re-assure me, how good I was at the job and so would say do your best. One particular day I went to a new ward again no one would show you where anything was or tell you. It felt like I had looked in almost all the cupboard until I found the one I was looking for with all the bed sheets etc. As I was packing the nurse’s trolley to assist the patient with their care I started to complain to myself and clarily within I heard the latter end of Psalms 100 verse 3 I think it is, “know that He is God and it is He who had made us and not we ourselves” but what stood out to me and surprised me in a small way was “it is He who hath made us and not we ourselves”. That shut me up for the day. Why I am typing this? As I laid on myside for a ten minutes nap I thought about the atmosphere and tensions, individuals upset or angry, frustrated and either side seems to be not listening to each other. My heart almost panic when it seems no one is listening to the point of peace. I also type to show an understanding of what it is like to be frustrated/disappointed but we should heed to the Word of God and at times ignore i.e turning the other cheek or giving your cloak.

By Kerri-Ann

Finding Your Strength

Finding one’s strength, how does one come about in finding their strength?

It was on Tuesday November 24th, 2020, I was feeling discouraged. Afterwards I saw that an article that I had written and was accepted, is going to be published in a British magazine for the Embassy. It made me feel a little better but not a hundred percent.

Although it has been a challenging year for everyone, I knew the reason I was sad, it was tied to a sense of how, I think I am perceived by others; partly to do with my growth in Christ meaning I know I have made mistakes.

On Wednesday I had my head bowed down on top of the counter then the scripture came up from within me “I will lift up mine eyes…My help cometh from the Lord found in Psalm 121. This led me to read the rest of it; I hadn’t read the bible for a few days. In addition to that, it caused me to ponder the entire chapter which in total has eight verses.

One truth that I think must be told is a quote from my younger sister “you are a beautiful lady”, this I know the Lord has made me into. All of what I have said has brought me to the realisation that I am better at writing articles and daily devotionals, although I have written a couple hardcopy books and a softcopy.

One last struggle was to do with whether or not I thought I was a good writer. Well, I have already answered this and it leads me to tell a very small piece of my mother’s story in this light, from a God perspective of Psalm 121.

Interject- The more I get older in age, the more I realise that there are very limited Cinderella’s stories as part of people’s day to day lives.    

Psalms 121 is my mother’s story (Jennifer), her mother died when she was around six to seven years of age. At one point in her childhood, she was very sickly that the extended family thought she would die but she lives to tell the tale. Afterwards my mother went to live with her aunt who was at times abusive towards her; despite this she enjoyed her childhood when spent with her brothers.  

One of the things my mother advised me on, was to be careful in not having my children change school too aften because she had that done to her and she knows what it is like and the effects it could have on a child for example having to adjust to a new environment and having to make new friends.

In my mother’s adult life there were other challenges but old ones were still there for example my mother is physically beautiful and an educated lady and some of her peers saw that as a threat but it did not stop her from exceeding in life. 

Jennifer went through domestic abuse and came out of it. She has managed to work for almost her entire adult life.

One other challenge I guess was being a mother and raising her children. I know my mother thought that she was giving, my older sister a better life living abroad with her father and the same for my brother when she allowed him to live with her father and stepmother; and at that time was told, it was the right thing to do, at the age of around 24.

My mother raised my younger sister and I, sharing with us what is in the bible. 

By Kerri-Ann

Love

Driving to work I was reflecting on a daily devotional I had read on love. It went on to mention the Pont des Arts bridge in Paris where couples would chain a pad lock as a sign of love. The thousands of locks on the bridge weight heavily to the point of damaging it. 

Let’s take a step back, remembering a personal family situation a good few years back, it made me think about the bible story in 1 Kings 3:16–28 Then came there two women, that were harlots, unto the King…. Verse 17, And the one woman said, O my Lord, I and this woman dwell in one house; and I was delivered of a child with her in the house. Verse 18, And It came to pass the third day after that I was delivered also: and we were together; there was no stranger with us in the house, save we two in the house. Verse 19, And this woman’s child died in the night, because she overlaid it. Verse 20, And she arose at midnight, and took my son from beside me… Verse 21 And when I rose in the morning to give my child suck, behold, it was dead: but when I had considered it in the morning, behold, it was not my son, which I did bear. Verse 22 And the other woman said, Nay;… Verse 23, Then said the king, The one saith, This is my son that lived, and thy son is the dead: and the other saith, Nay; but thy son is the dead, and my son is the living. Verse 24, And the King said, Bring me a sword. And they brought the sword before the king. And the king said, Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one, and half to the other. Verse 26 Then spoke the woman whose the living child was unto the king, for her bowels yearned upon her son, and, and she said, O my Lord, give her the living child, and in no wise slay it. But the other said, let it be done neither mine nor thine, but divide it. Verse 27, Then the king answered and said, give her the living child, and in no wise slay it: she is the mother thereof.

I want to pick up these words ‘for her bowels yearned’, I see that love at times carry pain which weighs. Love can carry lost and an element of letting go or giving up for the sake of love; could this include forgiveness too? So often we think of the happy feelings of love which is distorted but love does not always carry happy feelings. I never thought about what I am about to say until now for God so loved the world, he gave His only begotten Son, St John 3:16; the lady was willing to give up her son because of love.

By Kerri-Ann

Black & Black

My first book, ‘Love Sees Her’, is set in South Africa.  Before my book was out, a British Nigerian acquaintance of mine posed an interesting question to me.  He asked, why was my book set in South Africa and not in Jamaica, which is where I’m from.

This prompted me to think about unity, culture, and value systems…

I remember watching a programme on Netflix called ‘City of Joy’. It is set in the Democratic Republic of Congo and examines the horrific violence that has been happening there. The number of deaths there is higher than that of the Bosnian war.  This is deeply shocking.

When I look at the state of affairs, I home in just for a moment on who is carrying out these horrific acts, and I see that the Congolese are carrying out these acts of violence among themselves even though it is influenced by the outside world. Something should be done to tackle this but there is no unity; no coming together to solve these life and death problems.  

The Eastern part of the country is rich in the four most commonly mined coltan, tin, tungsten and gold.  Every phone, laptop etc. is made from the material of coltan, yet with these rich resources within the country, the wealth is not being used for the better of the people.

I watched another documentary that got me to wonder about the complexities within humanity.  The documentary, on BBC iPlayer, is named ‘Africa Turns the Page’ which features Chinua Achebe, Buchi Emecheta, Jomo Kenyatta and others.  In the documentary, I noticed that some of the authors had an issue with the title “African Writer”, as if they were not proud of that title from their point of view.  But shouldn’t you be proud of being from the African continent.  If you are from there, your lineage is there and your plot is set in one of the countries in Africa, so, shouldn’t you be proud of that title. I would be, just as I am proud of Jamaica. 

In light of the civil unrest since the inhumane death of George Floyd and black lives matter, I could see the thoughts formulating in my mind regarding these societal problems.  There are complexities within the American black community such as class, wealth and more, but we all can agree that the death of George Floyd should not have happened in the way in which it did. This brings me to my point of unity.

My heritage is Jamaican, so I have that link to the black community.  Before I say what I am about to say, I must say that I do believe in doing your best, achieving, and that no man is an island by themselves. However, from the recent events, I get the sense that some people within the black community come across as if they are having to prove themselves.  And if not proving oneself then it is looking outside of the community for help.  

I must say, that regardless of our lineage and nationality, when my God looks at us, He looks at us all the same and it is our hearts He judges and not by the colour of our skins, eyes, hair, etc.

Watching these documentaries caused me to see distinct issues.  In America and England, I see black people having to prove or come up to statues to be inline with the white population.  In the Congo I see that blacks are killing one another, and there seems to be no support from what I call the cream at the top of black society, who are living abroad with no concerns for those who have been victims of the militia groups.

We are like crabs in a barrel, but to what extent.  I wonder how true this saying is when it comes to helping each other.  Is there no unity because black people abroad are so busy with their own struggle that to a fair degree have forgotten the black people within the African continent.  And do the rich and famous see this need too but also ignore.  This is my quest to understand these complexities.

By Kerri-Ann

Resilience

R- Self respect 

E- The letter E in peace 

S- Silence when needs be 

I- I in dignity 

L- Love of Christ Jesus 

I- The ink in my words 

E- Envisage 

N- Navigate 

C- Caring 

E- Earnest 

There are distractions including noises which can simply be heard in one’s back yard yet without absolute truth. Asking the question why? Is there some validity and if so, should the rest of the noise be drowned out! Some would say you are either for or against but what if I disagree with and stand in the middle on my truth! I once heard of a mother of someone famous asked for her preference and she replied none of the above. 

I rest my case, which brings me to the word resilience. It has been shown over decade and beyond that within my people there have been good role models so let’s spread it over the masses and never stop; never stop, having nothing to prove. 

Walking in peace and if needs be in silence, holding our heads high. As I walk with my head held high staring into the space in front I see where He has allowed me to have over two books under my belt. Although it may have been said I could not and might have been due to the short coming of not seeing through His eyes. However, I keep walking! 

He puts the ink in my pen and gives me the vision on which to write as I learn to navigate this world, He so cares about. Remaining earnest enough to pray for it.

By Kerri-Ann

Picture

Third Camping Trip: Elk Neck State Park, North East MD. 

 The day was perfect, not too hot or cold. The family even went for a swim, the children splashed and had fun. 

The day continued to pass, soon we ate and washed up, time for bed.

It began to rain, the children fell a sleep, soon after I retired to bed. I drifted in and out of light sleep. My husband eventually retired to bed. I tried to drift off to sleep but could not because of the heavy patter of rain drops. I closed my eyes, my husband managed to sleep a bit but awoke after sometime; both of us awake. As I open my eyes I realised he had fallen back to sleep. I on the other hand noticed the sound of the wind with the heavy rain drops batter the canvas of the caravan so began to talk with my Lord until it was nearly day break.

 There are two faith points I see. First point- the scripture says Psalms 91:1 “he that dwelleth in the secret place of the most high shall abide…”  What does it mean? I read a commentary that said we as Christians are not visitors to the secret place. Talking with my mother, she hit the nail on the head, we are meant to live there! How does this come about? By making a choice to stay there, making our minds up to stay there! Back to the caravan I stayed inside it. What if I had gone out, something bad more likely could have happened. I stayed inside where it was safe, although I was hearing the noises.

 The following day late afternoon my daughter and I went back to the Elk River where it feeds into the sea. We went to the spot where the day before we had sat on a log in the sand; this time the water had risen closer to land. My daughter automatically bent her knees and stooped playing in the sand. I looked across the water, it has beautiful landscaping, brought my eyes back to the shore when I spotted the head of what looks like a turtle. Looking to see its shell, as it was swimming across the top of the water when I realised it was a snake. I quickly bent and pick my daughter up to show her the snake. By the time I did that and look the snake was in front of us, across in the water. It looked as if, it was about to turn it’s head to look when we basically had our feet in our hands.

 The second point of faith. My family and I were at the same spot the day before. It was scenic, no obvious harm or danger but I know that there are snakes in Maryland. Not because I don’t see them, it does not mean they do not exist. I also know my Lord protects my family because I am dwelling in the secret place of the Most high.

When we stay under the Lord’s umbrella then we are protected automatically and His promises fall into place.

By Kerri-Ann

A Piece

Life has twist just as road trips with its curves. This suggests it’s complex but does it have to be so complex or can it be made much easier. This life is based upon the map in our minds and how it is read. Who else can retrieve the information to navigate, is it not us, so we can go ahead in our journey? 

Being an observer seeing and hearing the events that surround me, I can hear a different voice saying the same words as mine, the words are familiar not everything is black and white. To extend upon these words every man should be content with his or her conclusion or conviction without malice or envy. 

There is a great book but no one seems to want to read it which is filled with every day you and I’s. There is matie (having another woman on the side), murder, betrayals, pointing of fingers, accusers, politricks (politics), religion and more. This great book has solutions too. Everyone seems to talk about Shakespeare and others but where is this book in the midst of all, I ask where?

By Kerri-Ann

Thinking Right

Choosing to type for less distraction. While talking to my mother on the phone two images I had a while back came to me. One was a viewing of my Lord after His body was taken down from the cross. He laid on the ground almost unrecognisable with the crown of thorns, blood that flowed from the crown of His head. The second image was of His face (resurrected), that had a traditional Middle Eastern look not the European image we often see. What got my attention was His warm, wide, gentle smile nonthreatening.

The above brings me to the writer Toni Morrison who is well known but new to me through a documentary program, one of her books is called Bluest Eye. I found this interesting after reading few Books of the Bible whereby Peter and Paul dealt with prejudices, segregation, religious practices (religion), Politics and general sin. There is no separation especially for those who recognised what Christ has done for us, receives Him, are seen the same way God sees the Israelites; Paul talks about this especially in the Book of Romans and that we are to love another.

As the conversation went on, my mother mentioned how it dawned on her, that in her prayer regarding the trinity how she would refer to the Father or say God then Jesus name but never really referring to as in talking with His Son Jesus. This brought to my mind a more recent dream where I saw two image one was the Son the other was the Father. The bible tells me in the book of Romans, Jesus is at the right hand of the Father and He makes intercession for us. In addition, Jesus said to His disciples when He was on earth, when you see me you see the Father. Back to the dream, in the dream the Son seemed disappointed. I do not know how, what I am about to say I can explain it, The Father seemed not to be disappointed but had to be because the Son was; now when my mother explained what had dawned on her, it explained the above dream I had, that made sense. 

By Kerri-Ann